Dear All
I am not a blogger per se. But I am writing this because starting 13th, i have been flooded with DM’s, Responses, Queries & what not. There are many stakeholders in this. It all started i guess when I shared a Medium Post from a Girl who wrote about her experience at TVF. A lot of water has since flown in Ganges. People are still asking me. Some of the actions I did post that threatened to expose identities of few victims (I believe they are victims and that their ordeal is true).
People have questioned the logic of being Anonymous and why another anonymous is sharing it. But this Post is not about it. Its about what has happened post that. I will put forward my views because I shared it with a belief. I trusted someone who was interacting with me for sometime before she put the post out. The post is not about her alone. It is about other brave women who have spoken in parallel over past 2 months with me, sharing their ordeals. Some of them have come out in open and have spoken to journalists, and to general people sharing in detail how they were violated. Yes, “Violated” not wronged, not molested, if you understand the basics of human existence, you would know how strong a word “Violated” is.
A lot of people have come together to support these women, but i am ashamed to say that some have just used very key private details to run their own set of agenda.
Let me get back to how it started. I am an anonymous twitter handle. This isnt the first time me or many like us, be it Unicon Baba (@uni_Con1) or India’s Dark Belly (@indobelly) or Startup Kumar (@startupkumar) have taken up an issue. An issue where someone has been wronged. Last month when Unicon Baba spoke about a similar nature harassment by Mahesh Murthy, a lot of people were skeptical if its true. But it was, the real women came around. So many of them. Similar was the case of Job Losses at Snapdeal where founders kept saying that all is well but it wasnt.
Why we exist has a reason, it is that we want to present the real face. Now let me tell you how it started and where a lot of actual victims have been wronged again
Around December End, someone I know in my real avatar, who still was a TVF employee met me somewhere. We were speaking on many things and suddenly we started talking on how banks and news channels are such a Masculine Place to work. And she started telling me what happened to her colleagues. How some of her colleagues were treated. 3 Particular stories.. One quote about a woman which is apparently a joke in the office which is so demeaning and defamatory that i cant reproduce it here. I didnt believe it then. She said she will connect me with the girl. She didnt succeed. The girl wouldnt talk.
Thats when I started reaching out to couple of girls she had mentioned. It took me a long time to convince them. Some of them shared things which are so terrible that it breaks my heart. What length these Alpha Male, flush with New found money and fame go onto establish their masculinity. The original victim still didnt talk. And the other two were too scared to come out in open because they had been hounded in past. Hounded is a small word though. They were pushed to the wall, stripped of employment, benefits and a social standing. They were branded as Lunatics, Psychopaths and what not. I couldnt convince them to come out.
One fine day in February i started receiving DM’s from an known account. It turned out she had a story to tell. I didnt engage with her in the beginning because she was talking from a handle i didnt know or I didnt follow. Anyway. She pinged with a specific lead on who she was referred by and i responded. What she told me initially didnt make sense. The dots were not connecting because it was a bit superficial. But then she started talking detail. I got back to the girl who initially talked about it and then i got the confirmation on the details of the story. I started taking her seriously. I asked if i could speak to her. She refused. We kept chatting. In the meanwhile i figured out few more victims. Did initiate a conversation with them. Some of them have now come out and spoken to the Journo’s. To one of them i am a culprit too.. Because I shared a screenshot with her phone number without her consent. She has been the strongest of them all.
But this blog is not even about that. Its about following points
1. That Sexual Harassment is a reality. Please accept it happens at every place. No point being holier than though and say that Oh, we have a great culture and it cant happen to us. There is nothing called as uniform culture. There are aberrations everywhere and maybe your leader is one, cause he or she might be leading a dual life.
2. The post was not about an individual, so stop judging her by her identity. I think by now everyone have many known identities. Why these known identities have come out? Because law isnt an easy thing to go through. Imagine the Working Hours gone. Imagine the questions these alpha males throw at them to shame them. To reveal details which in first place “violated” them.
3. That there was a system which intimidated them. It harmed one girl that I know so much that she was bedridden for 3 months. Sole breadwinner of the family. Someone who struggled so hard to get to that level.
4. This post also addresses the ethics of few journalists. Since past 3 days, there have been many who have approached me. Some convinced me to connect them with few girls. I did. They wanted me to share some more info. One screenshot went to someone who was known to me in real life. I trusted that Guy. He traded that info. And both the screenshot and the Identity (Name and Phone Number) is out in the market. She is a very brave girl. But I feel guilty. Not because of leak, because I couldnt judge the person i knew in real life to be in the same league. People who trade in Trauma for professional benefits. You aint any different from Arunabh.
And to end it. I am no Judge of what Arunabh did or Didnt. I had to report this because too many women with similar experience and verified identity were there. It doesnt mean he is pronounced guilty. It means he must be tried. He comes out free, good.. he gets punished good. At least we would know the truth.
To many of you who have stood up. I am glad. To many of you who have abused, someday we all will have our own Shawshank Redemption. Till then.
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